recap

It's been a good summer.

~Running around like crazy pointed out my need for rest and time alone.
~Time alone and rest highlighted my need for interaction and purposeful tasks to occupy my time.
~Working with others brought out how much selfishness still finds its way into my heart, but also gave me the great joy of seeing a group of people truly achieve synergy and walk in God's purpose.
~Being in charge of my own time reminded me how futile my own attempts at improvement are, but also reiterated for the millionth time how powerful God's work in me can be when I let Him in.
~Spending time abroad reminded me how much I love traveling, missions, cultures, people, and most of all Jesus - who transcends all of our societal limitations to bring life all over the world.
~Getting re-accustomed to life at home made the travel ache worse, while at the same time making me grateful for my strange, supportive, and God-crazy family (both immediate and church).

I went in search of something this summer - I think I'm finding it, and will be for a while yet.

Pandora is doing its shuffle wonders, but I hadn't been paying that much attention until now:

I'm standing at the foot of this mountain
Wishing so bad that I could touch that sky
But in the time it takes to make my wish
I never take a step and I never try

I wish that I were closer to Jesus
But not enough to get me out of bed
For an early morning prayer before the
Rushes of my life take me instead

I'm past the wishing
Past the wishing
Past the wishing

I'm gazing in these deep well waters
Where the pennies of my life have all been cast
I've decided I am going to save my money
To do something that lasts

You've shown me my man of Macedonia
You're calling me further on
And I'm tired of saying it's a nice idea
I wish it could be done

I don't wish that I could go I am going
I don't wish that I could be I am being
I don't wish that I could do it I am doing
By the grace of God I am doing

Hmm. Kind of what I've been learning this summer - to stop wasting time suppressing your dreams and desires, saying it's not meant to be; rather, to present yourself to God "as a living sacrifice," dreams and all, and then see where it goes from there. God likes dreamers. I had always thought, mostly without thinking, that I would just leave the dreaming up to others and live my life in the here-and-now. Somehow that paradigm falls to pieces when God shows you that eternity and heaven are both here-and-now, but it's not until we dream with Him and walk in His Kingdom now will we truly begin to see "on earth as it is in heaven." What are we waiting for? The world is waiting for us.

And now it's time to start packing up and heading back to school. Back into the world of dorms, deadlines, sodexo, curfew, parking permits, grades, good friends, coffee, late nights, dollar theater, chapel, Panera Saturdays, highlighters, colored pens, index cards, proxy settings, alien architecture, sidewalks-that-lead-everywhere-before-they-get-anywhere, and this year - hours upon hours in the basement of the LRC :o) Bring it on.

Ready or not, here goes…